Study of Institutional Culture in Ancient Tujia Society—Marriage System Culture (II)
Section 2: Marriage Procedures. Any marriage procedure is governed and influenced by marriage concepts and forms, displaying distinct characteristics of its era and ethnicity. In traditional Tujia society before 'gaitu guiliu,' when monogamy was the mainstream marriage form, marriage procedures could be roughly divided into four stages: mate selection, engagement, date selection, and wedding.
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Section II Marriage Procedures
Any marriage procedure is governed and influenced by marriage concepts and marriage forms and displays distinct characteristics of the times and the ethnic group. In the traditional society of the Tujia before the replacement of native officials with centrally appointed officials, when monogamy was the mainstream form of marriage in society, its marriage procedures could roughly be divided into four stages: choosing a spouse, betrothal, choosing a date, and the wedding period. From choosing a spouse to becoming married, there were many unique requirements, and each basic procedure had some specific demands.
I. Choosing a Spouse
The ways of choosing a spouse are diverse among all ethnic groups. In a certain sense, choosing a spouse is directly related to the marriage forms of each ethnic group. Generally speaking, the ways of choosing a spouse among all ethnic groups fall into two categories: closed spouse selection and open spouse selection. Closed spouse selection mostly occurred under the feudal patriarchal system and the form of mercenary marriage; children's marriages were completely decided by the personal will of the parents, and the parties to the marriage had no right to intervene in their own marriage. Open spouse selection means that all young men and women who had reached marriageable age could freely choose a spouse without any restrictions.
Open spouse selection prevailed in Tujia areas. Using song as matchmaker was a unique way for young men and women to express love. Tujia young people often expressed their feelings of admiration through antiphonal singing of love songs, and the fiery love songs expressed their yearning for happy love and their pursuit of marital autonomy. The "Daughters' Gathering" was a festival of love for young Tujia men and women in western Hubei, held once a year, with the date varying from place to place: in some places it was the third day of the fifth lunar month, in others the twelfth day of the seventh lunar month, and in still others the fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month. On this day, young men and women rushed to market gatherings, each going to look for their "intended one." When going to the gathering, the girls placed the local products, mountain goods, and silk brocades they had carried in their back baskets along both sides of the street, while they themselves sat steadily on the back baskets turned upside down on the ground, waiting for their "intended one" to come and buy things. Young men with empty back baskets slung over their shoulders, upon seeing a girl they favored, would step forward to strike up a conversation. If both sides developed feelings of admiration, they would arrange to go outside the street to the woods or hillside to attend the "edge gathering." The "edge gathering" was a kind of antiphonal song gathering with questions and answers, and the content of the lyrics was all-encompassing, including both seven-character five-line metrical forms and seven-character four-line metrical forms.
The Tujia young men and women's way of choosing a spouse by sending feelings through song and seeking love through song displayed the Tujia people's concept of free marriage. Tujia love songs expressed young men and women's feelings of deep affection, longing, and steadfastness, and gave off a strong flavor of life. For example, love songs expressing the feeling of first love were sung with genuine and deep emotion:
In the early morning I ate but the food had not gone down my throat; holding my bowl I wandered from the front door to the back door;
Hearing my sweetheart call from across the mountain, I dropped both chopsticks and rice bowl together.
The moon came out bright and shining, my sister was washing clothes by the river;
Hearing her sweetheart's mountain song rise, the washing stick struck the back of her hand.
Love songs expressing passionate feelings were bold and straightforward, even full of unrestrained sexual teasing:
Female sings: The moon comes out like a sieve,
On nine streets I'll buy a lock,
Male sings: For you, my love, I've come to your village,
Twelve golden keys,
Shining down on nine streets below the mountain;
I ask you, can you open it or not?
I carry twelve rows of keys on me;
Surely one of them will fit and open it.
Love songs that express the longing of love pour out the lingering tenderness after parting:
Female sings: For you, my love, I grieve day and night,
I wake but do not see your face,
Male sings: Don't long for me so desperately,
If you long for me and fall lovesick,
In dreams we stroll hand in hand, my love;
Tears soak the flowered pillow.
Don't dream of me so vividly;
Dreaming of me turns you into a night-wandering spirit.
II. Betrothal
In the marriage procedure, betrothal is the confirmation of the marriage contract between the man and the woman; only after this stage can the marriage contract between the two parties be formally established. The Tujia betrothal ceremony, also called "Planting Taro Incense," is conducted in two stages: "Seeking the Red Geng" and "Acknowledging Kin."
"Seeking the Red Geng," also called "Seeking the Eight Characters," means that the man's family prepares gifts such as silk, hairpins and rings, fruits, wine and meat, writes a man's family Geng document stating the man's name and the year, month, day, and hour of his birth, and asks the matchmaker to deliver it to the woman's home to "seek the Red Geng." After receiving the man's Geng document, the woman's family writes the woman's Geng document in the same format and gives it to the matchmaker to reply to the man's family. When "seeking the Red Geng," the woman's family must invite the main members of the clan to be present and publicly announce the marriage within the clan to show seriousness and prudence. When the woman's family writes the Red Geng, also called writing the "Luan Document," they must buy a new sheep-hair brush and "Dragon Gate ink," implying that sheep breed quickly and in great numbers, and that the descendants born will all enter the "Dragon Gate." When writing the "Luan Document," its format is usually seven-character lines in eight lines, and its content is mostly words of congratulation. "Fragrant lotus and emerald water, green locust shade; autumn river, Chu banks, thick red leaves; mandarin ducks must return to the mandarin duck path, wild geese must return to the wild goose isle. The inkstone pool is the sea, the brush is the dragon; the fine sheep-hair brush writes of luan and phoenix; above are written the sun and moon as witnesses, below are written mountains and rivers as guarantors; dragon flies and lin soars, matched on both sides, the man's and woman's Red Geng written in the center. Year matches, month matches, day and hour match, heaven and earth have paired phoenix and feng; when rain falls, take an umbrella and reunite early, twin lotus flowers bloom red for a hundred years." After obtaining the woman's "Red Geng," the man's family asks a Tujia shaman or fortune-teller to help match the man's and woman's birth characters and see whether they conflict. If they conflict, they ask the Tujia shaman to perform rituals to resolve it; if the birth characters are incompatible and cannot be resolved, the marriage is called off.
"Acknowledging Kin" means that the man, accompanied by the matchmaker, goes to the woman's home to ask for the marriage. After matching the man's and woman's birth characters, if there is no conflict, the man's family chooses an auspicious day to acknowledge kin. When going to the woman's home to acknowledge kin, the man must prepare clothing, jewelry, silver money, wine, and meat, send them to the woman's home, and present betrothal gifts to propose marriage. The woman's family attaches great importance to the kin-acknowledging ceremony and often invites the girl's maternal grandmother, maternal grandfather, maternal uncles, maternal aunts, clan elders, and paternal uncles, older male cousins, younger male cousins, and other main relatives and clan members to gather in the main hall to worship the ancestors. Red candles burn high on the shrine, incense is placed in the censer, and the offering table is filled with wine, meat, and other sacrificial offerings. A Tujia shaman is asked to perform rituals, inform the ancestors that a certain woman is betrothed to a certain clan, and pray for their consent to form a luan marriage. After the sacrifice, the woman's family must hold a banquet to entertain the six relations and clan members and announce that the daughter of the household has been promised to another family.
III. Choosing the Date
Choosing the date means selecting the wedding date and determining the day of marriage. This is an important procedure in Tujia marriage. Date selection is further divided into several stages: choosing the day, "sending the lesson carrying-pole," "opening the scissors," and preparing the dowry. According to Tujia custom, men over sixteen and women over fourteen may marry. After the man acknowledges kin, with the woman's consent, he may ask a Tujia shaman or fortune-teller to determine an auspicious day according to the birth "eight characters" of both man and woman, called "choosing the day." Generally, an "even day" is chosen as the wedding date.
Once the man's family has set the wedding date, they write the date on red paper, prepare some wine, meat, and gifts, and ask the matchmaker to send them to the woman's home, commonly called "sending the lesson carrying-pole." When the woman's family receives the wedding date sent by the man's family, they choose an auspicious day to sew wedding clothes, mosquito nets, and other dowry items, called "opening the scissors." The dowry prepared by the woman's family may be sent to the man's family before the formal wedding date or brought along on the wedding day itself. Because economic conditions differ, the amount of dowry prepared by the woman's family varies. In ordinary families, the dowry prepared is mostly large and small wardrobes, a dressing table, washbasins, bathing tubs, chairs, bowls and chopsticks, fire tongs, bedding, mosquito nets, and so on. In wealthy families, the dowry prepared is more elaborate, not only matched in pairs in every item, but also including silk and brocade, gold and silver jewelry, tea, snacks, fruits, and so on. Tujia people attach great importance to preparing the dowry. They believe that if a daughter marries into the man's family without a decent dowry, she will be discriminated against and will have no status in the man's family. Therefore, no matter how poor the family is, they will find a way to make the dowry more generous, even going so far as to borrow money from relatives and friends to prepare it. From the day of "opening the scissors," the woman's parents keep their daughter at home waiting for the wedding date and prepare gift shoes for the man's father, mother, grandfather, and grandmother.
IV. The Wedding Period
The wedding period is the last procedure in the entire marriage process. It is when the groom, on the chosen wedding day, brings the bride to his home and performs the bowing ceremony to complete the marriage. The wedding period, also called the wedding ceremony or bride-welcoming, essentially means announcing the formal establishment of the marriage relationship to the clan and society through ritual, so that it may receive social recognition and supervision. The Tujia wedding period generally lasts three days: the first day is welcoming the bride, the second day is "turning the foot," and the third day is "turning the small foot."
According to Tujia custom, the number of people in the bride-welcoming procession is specially regulated. Generally there is the "First Ga," namely the matchmaker, whose marker is holding an umbrella; the "Second Ga," namely the supervisor in charge of various gifts and the door-opening ceremony, whose marker is carrying a basket on his back; and the "Momi," namely the groom's substitute, younger than the groom, with no special marker, making him hard to identify. In addition, there are four people to carry the bridal sedan chair, two people to play the suona, one each to play the bao bao gong and the wan pa, two people to carry lanterns, and several people to carry the dowry. After the bride-welcoming procession sets out, a Tujia shaman is asked to perform rituals in the main hall, enclosing the left corner of the hall with cloth, inside which a pig's head and sacrificial meat are placed, along with the bride's clothes, skirts, and jewelry, to worship the Tusi. After the sacrifice, a pair of geese is held and bowed with before the hall, called "presenting geese," symbolizing that husband and wife, like geese, are deeply affectionate and loyal to the end.
When the bride-welcoming procession arrives at the woman's door, according to Tujia custom, the woman's family must close the main gate, and the two sides engage in antiphonal singing and debate. If the bride-welcoming procession cannot answer, they have no choice but to "rush the door" and "seize the bride." When the bride-welcoming procession returns to the man's home, the "Momi" carrying the mosquito net must first carry the net into the groom's house and hold the net-hanging ritual, commonly called "moving the net." After the net-hanging ceremony is completed, the groom goes out to receive the bride into the house. When the bride steps over the threshold of her mother-in-law's house, she must stamp hard three times on the threshold, meaning to trample the threshold lower so she may come and go freely. After the bride enters, the man's parents must avoid her and cannot meet her, commonly called "avoiding the red face." In the main hall, the bride must comb her hair again, called "washing the harmonious face." Then the groom and bride bow in worship. After bowing, the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber to "seize the bed," that is, to see who first sits at the center of the bed's edge; whoever wins will be the one to manage the household. On the wedding night, the man's family must hold the "mounting-horse wine" to entertain the bride's accompanying brothers and sisters-in-law and the bridesmaids. The banquet is set in the center of the main hall, called the "main seat," and the bride's brothers from her natal family sit in the middle of the "main seat," also called "sitting in the mounting-horse position." After the "mounting-horse wine" begins, other relatives and friends may drink freely.
On the second day of the wedding period, the bride, accompanied by the groom, returns to her natal home to visit her parents and clan, commonly called "turning the foot," also called "returning to the door." On the third day of the wedding period, the groom leads the bride to the man's maternal uncle's home and the homes of main relatives to eat rotating family meals, that is, eating one meal at each home, also called "turning the small foot." "Turning the small foot" generally means going and returning the same day, though it may also mean going one day and returning the next. Due to differences in marriage concepts, different Tujia areas have different regulations for the wedding period. In some Tujia areas, the wedding period lasts only two days.