The Tujia — Marriage Customs and Family
V. Marriage Customs and Family. Remnants of Primitive Marriage. After the "replacement of native officials with centrally appointed ones" (gaituguiliu) in Tujia areas during the Qing dynasty, and with the establishment of the feudal landlord economy, Tujia marriage customs gradually approached those of the Han, though some remnants of primitive marriage practices persisted. Long ago, the Tujia maintained the primitive custom of free marriage "with songs as matchmaker." At that time, men and women...
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V. Marriage Customs and Family
Remnants of Primitive Marriage
In the Qing Dynasty, after the "replacement of native officials with centrally appointed officials" in Tujia areas, with the establishment of the feudal landlord economy, the Tujia marriage system gradually became similar to that of the Han Chinese, but some remnants of primitive marriage customs still remained.
Long ago, the Tujia maintained the primitive custom of free marriage "with songs as matchmakers." At that time, men and women dressed alike. Whether chopping wood and cutting grass on the mountain, or digging soil, opening wasteland, weeding, harvesting, going to market, attending gatherings, or meeting on the road, men and women would always sing antiphonal songs to communicate their feelings. For example, in the traditional love songs of the Xiushan Tujia, the man sings: "The cool breeze sways the magic fungus grass, the mountain song moves the sister's heart," and the woman replies: "To bind firewood on the mountain you only need vines, the Tujia marry relying on songs." From the lyrics of traditional love songs—testing, giving one's heart, swearing oaths, parting, longing, and marriage—they basically reflect the entire process from primitive free love to marriage.
In the past, Tujia women had autonomy in marriage. Every year from the third to the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, the Tujia would hold the "hand-waving" festival (after performing rituals to worship the Tujia king and the eight tribal gods, they would sing and dance the hand-waving song and dance to honor the gods) to celebrate the new year and pray for favorable weather, or during the celebration of sacrificing to the "Community Bodhisattva"①, rituals would be held; men, women, old and young would mostly sing and dance together. After the rituals, the elderly gradually left the scene, and the young men and women would drink and revel to their hearts' content. Some young men and women would often meet and fall in love during the singing and dancing. If two men or several men took a fancy to the same woman, the woman would often propose that they compete in martial arts, archery, etc., to see who was superior; whoever won would be the spouse she chose, and then they would ask the Tu laosi for permission, and only after worshipping at the Tujia king shrine could they marry.
In Tujia kinship terms, people are addressed generically by gender and generation, unlike the Han Chinese who have strict distinctions. The Tujia call paternal uncle, maternal uncle, father-in-law, and husband's father all "jiajia"; they call paternal aunt, maternal aunt, and mother-in-law all "gu" or "ma"; they call younger brother, paternal male cousin, wife's younger brother, and maternal aunt's son "an'ai"; they call elder brother, paternal male cousin, wife's elder brother, and maternal uncle's son "ake"; younger sister, paternal female cousin, wife's younger sister, and maternal aunt's daughter are all "a'ai"; elder sister, paternal female cousin, and wife's elder sister are all "ada"; these terms indicate that the Tujia historically passed through a stage of clan and tribal group marriage.
Until the early days of New China, the Tujia still followed the custom of preferential marriage between cousins, with great authority of the maternal uncle. That is, a daughter of the paternal aunt's family must marry a son of the maternal uncle's family, observing the marriage custom of "returning the bone seed." In some Tujia villages in Longshan, it once happened that a girl from the paternal aunt's family had already reached seventeen or eighteen years of age, while the maternal uncle's son was still young, so the girl had to wait until he grew to about fifteen before marrying. If the girl from the paternal aunt's family wanted to marry the son of another family, she had to obtain the maternal uncle's consent in advance; and even if he consented, before the marriage the girl had to send "heavy gifts" to the maternal uncle's family as a substitute for returning the "bone seed." The Tujia have a folk saying: "A girl from the paternal aunt's family, reach out and take; if the maternal uncle wants her, call across the river." This shows how great the maternal uncle's authority was. In addition, there were marriage types such as cousin marriage, carrying-pole marriage, and melon-vine marriage.
The custom of a younger brother inheriting his elder brother's wife also existed among the Tujia. If the elder brother died and the younger brother had no spouse, he had the right to marry his widowed sister-in-law, commonly known as "the younger brother sitting on the elder brother's bed"; if the younger brother was unwilling to marry her, only then could the widow marry another man. If the younger brother died, the elder brother also had the right to marry his younger brother's wife, commonly known as "the elder brother sitting on the younger brother's bed." If the wife died and her younger sister was still unmarried, he had the right to marry the younger sister as his wife, a form of marriage called "filling the room." If the elder sister had no descendants, the son of the younger sister could inherit all her property. Women had the right to inherit property, and in some places girls even had "girl's fields" or "dowry fields": in some cases they could only enjoy and use them before marriage, while in others a woman could bring such fields to her husband's family after marriage and enjoy them for life.
Feudal Marriage
From more than two hundred years before the founding of New China to the early days of New China, the Tujia marriage system had become similar to the feudal marriage system of the local Han Chinese, mostly feudal mercenary marriages arranged by parents' orders and matchmakers' words, with families of equal status. Only in the procedures of marriage customs did some ethnic characteristics remain. Tujia feudal marriage generally went through the processes of engagement, visiting relatives, and taking the bride (including welcoming the bride, the wedding ceremony, and the return visit). However, in the marriage rituals there were still some primitive marriage customs.
Engagement: When the groom's parents selected a girl from a certain family to marry their son, they would often entrust a matchmaker to bring two or three jin of long strips of meat to the girl's family to propose. When the girl's family indicated that they could "open the marriage," if the birth dates and eight characters of the man and woman were compatible, an auspicious day was chosen for the engagement. After the engagement, on festivals and New Year occasions, both sides had to "visit relatives." The Tujia placed the greatest importance on the New Year festival, and the man's family always had to go to the woman's family to pay New Year respects to the father-in-law and mother-in-law. When the man's family told the woman's family the wedding date, both sides stepped up preparations for the children's wedding. A few months before the wedding, the man's family had to send "betrothal gifts" to the woman's family; through the man's "fetching the bride" and the woman's "escorting the bride," the union was considered "complete." Three days after the wedding (in some places one month), the groom also had to accompany the bride back to her family once, called "returning to the door"; after returning, they went back to the man's family, and only then was the marriage considered finished, and only then did the woman live permanently in the man's family.
Among the Tujia in the Fenghuang and Jishou areas, there was also the remnant custom of bride capture. When a young man from one Tujia village fell in love with a woman from another Tujia village, on the agreed wedding date the groom would invite young men from his village to go to the woman's village to seize the bride. On the way, they would raise lanterns and torches and beat gongs and drums as they rushed toward the woman's house; the woman's family would also have arranged in advance a group of people to block them, and both sides would argue their cases using "four-character and eight-sentence" verses; amid the noise and clamor, the man's side would seize the bride, stuff her into the bridal sedan chair, lock the sedan chair door, and carry her off running toward the man's village; the bride's brothers and relatives in the village would pretend to chase after them, acting as if they wanted to snatch the bride back. In some places, if the man had to cross a river to marry the bride, the bride's relatives and friends would take a shortcut to the ferry crossing to block the sedan chair, and after similarly pretending to fight over the bride, the man's side would give the woman's side some money and goods, and only then would the woman's side let the bride go to the man's family to marry.
This bride-capture custom gradually evolved in many places into performing the "gate-blocking ritual" when welcoming the bride and eating the "thatched banquet" when escorting the bride; that is, before the groom's bride-welcoming party arrived at the bride's house, the bride's family would close the door, have relatives and friends stand outside, and arrange an eloquent "gate-blocker," setting up a gate-blocking banquet in front of the main door. When the groom's bride-welcoming party arrived at the door, the woman's side would set off firecrackers and play music, and the master of ceremonies and the gate-blocker would exchange "four-character and eight-sentence" verses, with both questions and answers and mutual congratulations. Only then would the man's side be allowed into the woman's house to receive the bride.
After the bride performed the ritual of parting from the ancestors, parents, and relatives, she was carried to the sedan chair on the back of her own brother (before the "replacement of native officials with centrally appointed officials," no sedan chair was used, and she was entirely carried on the back). The woman's side would sweep around the sedan chair with a broom and sweep three times in the main hall. When the sedan chair was leaving the door, they would also pull it back and forth, repeatedly fighting over the "auspicious torch" (the torch brought by the man's side for welcoming the bride). Some of these activities were meant to show that the woman's family's wealth would not be taken away, while others hinted that after the woman entered the man's household, she would have the right to inherit property.
In some places, the bride-escorting procession had a very long journey, and the groom's family had to set up thatched banquets along the way to entertain the woman's honored guests escorting the bride; after eating and drinking at the roadside banquet, they would disperse on their own.
In some places, when the Tujia were on the way to welcome the bride, if they passed a "Tujia King Temple," the man's side also had to prepare a pig's head and a chicken, first offering them to the Tujia King, performing nine kowtows and eight bows, praying for the Tujia King to bless the marriage with good fortune. Whether the bride was carried on someone's back or rode in a sedan chair, when passing the Tujia King Temple she had to walk on foot; if the Tujia King was not respected and etiquette was violated, the marriage would not be peaceful. In some places, the bride had to be escorted before dawn, to prevent the Tujia King from learning of it and sending soldiers to pursue them; it was said that the Tujia King enjoyed the "right of first night" with the bride. In some places, when the Tujia enshrined ancestors in the main hall, they also had to set up the Tujia King's spirit tablet, and offer the bride's going-away clothes and jewelry as offerings to the Tujia King. When the bride left home, she had to both bid farewell to the ancestors and thank the Tujia King. According to legend, this was also a ritual of returning the Tujia King's "right of first night."
In some Tujia families, on the day before the daughter's marriage, an coming-of-age ceremony was held for her. A woman of good virtue from the same clan was chosen to "brush the eyebrows," "open the face," "part the hair," and "fill the hair" into a high bun for the bride, indicating that the woman had come of age and could marry. In some places, on the day before the bride's marriage, she was also accompanied by nine young girls, who shared a congratulatory banquet and then, in turn, held hands and sang while pulling at her clothes, just as described in the "Bamboo Branch Lyrics" written by the Tujia poets Tian Taidou and Peng Qiutan: "Newly combing a high bun and learning to wear flowers, her lovely tears glisten and fall on the green gauze; mother today accompanies the distant guest, ten daughters at the banquet." "The songs of the ten sisters are too sad, stamping feet and parting from mother, tears wet the clothes; Ningxiang is near the Wu Mountain Gorge, just like the Ba women singing bamboo branches."
In some Tujia villages, the wedding also included "finding the momi." The "momi" was the chief representative sent by the groom's family to welcome the bride at the woman's house, dressed the same as the other young men in the bride-welcoming party. On the eve of the wedding, when the bride-welcoming party stayed overnight at the woman's house, the young women invited by the woman's family to escort the bride all used "finding the momi" for fun. In the process of finding the momi, the young women would smear black on the faces of those they suspected, while the young men would often hide and dodge, not letting them smear black; through this, the young women could meet more young men, and it was also an opportunity to choose a spouse.
In some places, on the day before the Tujia wedding ceremony, a grand wedding banquet was held, and at the same time a young man's coming-of-age ceremony and the "accompanying ten brothers" congratulatory ritual were held. The groom's family displayed the plaques sent by relatives and friends, and the groom, led by his father, bowed to the plaque inscribed with the groom's name, and then the plaque was hung high, called "bowing to the name" and "hanging the plaque" (in some places called "naming the character" and "congratulating the name"). In the middle of the main hall, a congratulatory banquet was set up, and nine boys were chosen to accompany the groom in the "accompanying ten brothers" or "sitting with ten friends," drinking and singing command songs, congratulating the groom on adding a name and adding a cap; this was a ritual combining the man's wedding and coming-of-age ceremony.
In feudal society, many ethnic groups had the custom of "crying marriage" at weddings. Tujia "crying marriage" was also very prominent. Many Tujia girls learned to cry marriage from childhood, observing or participating in accompanying the crying, and pondering how to cry beautifully and movingly. If a girl did not know how to cry marriage, she would be ridiculed by people; crying marriage also required people to cry along, and those accompanying the bride also had to know how to cry along.
Before the wedding, crying marriage generally lasted three, five, or seven days, and in some cases even half a month or a month, though it was carried out intermittently. Especially from the night before the happy day to the time of getting into the sedan chair the next day, crying marriage reached its climax. The content of crying marriage included "crying for father and mother," "crying for elder brother and sister-in-law," "crying for sisters," "crying for uncles," "crying for accompanying guests," "crying for the matchmaker," "crying while combing hair," "crying for ancestors," and "crying while getting into the sedan chair." At that time, there were also various forms of antiphonal crying. For example, the lyrics of "crying for the matchmaker": "You came to seek marriage and spoke big words, telling of the bride's family and then the groom's family. You smoked a pipe of the groom's family, and you said his family would earn thousands; you drank a cup of tea of the groom's family, and you said his family would surely prosper; you drank a cup of wine of the groom's family, and you said his family had everything. ... Chestnut flowers bloom in hanging threads, the unlucky matchmaker wants fine dried noodles; chestnut flowers bloom in round balls, the unlucky matchmaker wants pig heads; the matchmaker is a hunting dog, eating from this side and that; pea flowers bloom in pairs, the unlucky matchmaker wants shoes to wear; there is a pair of black cloth shoes, and if the matchmaker wears them his legs will rot; the shoes are white inside and green outside, and if the matchmaker wears them his leg tendons will rot." These lyrics are not only sarcasm toward the matchmaker but also an accusation against the Tujia arranged marriage of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words." In other solo and antiphonal crying songs, there was also content opposing mercenary marriage.
After the founding of New China, with changes in the economic base of Tujia areas and the implementation of the new marriage law, the families established by the Tujia have become new-type small families based on monogamy, united and harmonious.
Clan Surnames and Marriage
The Tujia lived in "dong," often with people of the same clan and lineage gathered together. Although Tujia areas had "native chieftains and powerful leaders" quite early, their surnames were not as numerous as those of the Han Chinese. In the "Legend of Lin Jun," there were once the five surnames of the Ba clan. During the Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, in the Kuixia area and nearby regions there were the three surnames Ran, Xiang, and Tian; in the late Tang and Five Dynasties there were the six surnames Peng, Qin, Tian, Xiang, Gong, and Zhu. At the time of the Ming and Qing dynasties, there was also the saying "Cen and Huang in Guangdong and Guangxi, Tian and Yang in Huguang." When the Tujia underwent the "replacement of native officials with centrally appointed officials" in the Qing Dynasty, their surnames were still few. When there were native officials around Hefeng and Wufeng, there were only the two surnames Tian and Qin; when Hefeng became a county, there were the eight great surnames Zhang, Tang, Tian, Xiang, Qin, Wang, Shi, and Li. Although Tujia marriage did not exclude other ethnic groups, it was mainly marriage between surnames within the same ethnic group.
Several legends circulate about the origins of Tujia surnames. For instance, the flesh ball born to Fuxi's sister was chopped into blood clots and scattered in the fields, giving rise to the surname Tian; the surname Tuo in Longshan evolved from the surname Tian. Legend has it that there was once a general surnamed Tian in Longshan who fought with great bravery. Defeated by enemy soldiers in a battle, he fled alone, but the enemy general pursued him relentlessly. He escaped into a house, disguised himself, and dragged a tree as he walked out, just as the enemy general came face to face with him. The enemy general asked whether a defeated general had fled here. He deliberately said that a man who looked like a general had just entered the house and hidden himself. The enemy general believed him and went inside to search, and thus the man surnamed Tian escaped disaster. Because he was saved by dragging the tree, he changed his surname to Tuo from then on. This is why the Tuo and Tian surnames do not intermarry. Another example is the legend in Longshan that the Xiang surname is a major surname while the Shang surname is a minor one. If the Xiang surname celebrates the 'Gan Nian' (Rushing New Year) on the 29th day of the twelfth lunar month, then the Shang surname celebrates Gan Nian on the 28th. This is because Xiang and Shang were originally two brothers, and 'Shang' was changed from 'Xiang,' so although Xiang and Shang now have different surnames, they cannot intermarry. Yet another example is that in the Longshan, Yongshun, and Baojing areas, the Peng and Peng surnames were originally the same Peng surname; later they were changed into two surnames, Peng and Peng, and then intermarriage became possible. Other examples include 'Nine-Section Ox Horn Tian' and 'Eight-Ear Pot Xiang,' and so on. These tell of how, when a catastrophe threatening annihilation arrived, members of the same extended family had to separate and flee for their lives. In order to recognize one another as belonging to the same surname in the future, they used tokens left at parting to identify their clan: a section of ox horn was divided into nine segments for nine brothers to keep; an eight-ear pot was split into eight pieces and given to eight branches to keep. When they met in later days, they had to fit the tokens together before they could confirm they were of the same clan. Another example is that in Xiangxi, the Qin and Tian surnames, the Peng and Wang surnames, the Bai and Peng surnames, the Xiang and Li surnames, and the Xiang, Tian, and Yang surnames were originally allied and recognized as the same clan, and therefore could not intermarry with one another.
Small Family
Before the founding of New China, among the Tujia there were already many small monogamous families under the larger clan. The Tujia practiced the 'splitting the fire' system, in which most sons, after marrying, lived separately from their parents; this was called 'splitting the fire.' Family members generally consisted only of unmarried children. After married sons split the fire, brothers did not concern themselves with one another, nor did they support their parents. Among ordinary Tujia people, if there was no son, a man of a different surname could also establish a father-son relationship with them, including adopting a boy of a different surname brought by a mother who remarried; a son-in-law could also be taken in as a son. Only after the Qing dynasty's 'replacing native officials with centrally appointed officials' did practices form similar to those of the Han, such as distinguishing between legitimate and concubine-born sons, stressing generational order, and 'inheriting ancestral sacrifices and transmitting property' (that is, if there was no son, first establish a full brother's son, then a legitimate cousin, then a more distant cousin, and then in order establish a nephew). In the family's right of property inheritance, unlike the Han practice of honoring men and belittling women, women still had partial inheritance rights. For example, when a married woman returned to her natal home because of discord with her husband, her natal parents did not reproach her and even gave her protection; once divorced, she had the right to remarry someone else. Women could go out to learn opera, enjoyed freedom in social interaction, and still had a certain degree of autonomy in marriage.
Tujia small families belonged to different larger families, clans, and lineages. Apart from the obligations stipulated in clan rules, they were independent basic social units. Family members numbered from five to seven or so, including parents and unmarried children. The structure of family members was not greatly different from that of the Han. Parents were generally of the same ethnic group (that is, Tujia), and some families were formed by marriage between Tujia and Han or other ethnic minority men and women.
Several small families formed a lineage branch, which the Tujia called a 'fangtou.' The fangtou handled, according to clan rules, all matters within its own branch concerning the clan. These mainly included handling matters of marriage between men and women, inheritance of descendants and property, seniority and inferiority between grandparents and grandchildren, and customary law.
Several fangtou formed a lineage, which established an ancestral hall. They often used the method of linking clans and continuing genealogies to identify their patrilineal blood relationships. Each ancestral hall had a clan head who held clan authority, enforced clan rules, and handled disputes among the various fangtou within the clan, and between fangtou and families, and between household heads and members. In particular, they organized sacrifices to ancestors, observed generational hierarchy, and upheld the family's patriarchal authority, husband's authority, and the system of exogamy.
In Tujia areas, it was often 'great clans establish halls,' while minor surnames had no ancestral halls. Most ancestral halls owned hall fields, and the income was mostly used for the expenses of guarding the hall, protecting the hall, and the sacrificial rites for worshipping ancestors. Among the Tujia there were cases where people of the same surname lived in the same village and established an ancestral hall, and there were also cases where the various branches of the same lineage lived separately in several villages, which led to the situation in which several villages of the same lineage and surname established ancestral halls. The ancestral halls established by great clans were also divided into large halls and small halls, old halls and new halls. Some villages were inhabited by members of the same ethnic group, while others were inhabited mainly by that ethnic group mixed with members of other ethnic groups. Villages inhabited by the same ethnic group were mostly Tujia of several surnames; even if Tujia of the same surname lived in one village, some were of the same lineage and some were not. Although they shared the same surname, they each established ancestral halls of different lineages and each worshipped their own ancestors. The great clans such as Qin, Tian, Xiang, Ran, and Peng all divided families and lineages in this way.
Now, the Tujia lineage and lineage system, along with changes in social relations of production, have gradually disappeared.