The Wit of Qin Jin'ou
The Wit of Qin Jin'ou. A certain wealthy Tian family of Xixiping, with four hundred piculs of grain, lamented having no official rank to glorify the household. Through much maneuvering, they bought the title of "bagong" with four hundred piculs of grain. When Tian turned fifty, he held a grand banquet to celebrate both occasions. Relatives and friends vied to curry favor and wanted to present a birthday plaque, so they asked Qin Jin'ou to inscribe it. Qin, who had always despised Tian's character...
This article has been compiled from historical materials on 'Zhangjiajie Tour Guide Network' (33519.com · Specialty Foods / Cuisine / Customs section). Prices, business hours, administrative divisions, and statistical data mentioned in the text may already be outdated. Before traveling, please refer to the latest announcements from merchants, scenic areas, and local competent authorities; the parts involving folk legends and folk customs are local historical and cultural anecdotes, provided for cultural reference.
The Wise Man Qin Jin'ou
Four Hundred Dan of Grain
A certain rich man named Tian in Xixiping was very wealthy, but he regretted only that he had no official rank to bring glory to his family. After pulling strings in many ways, he donated four hundred dan of grain for the title of 'Bagong.' It happened to be Tian's fiftieth birthday, and he held a great banquet to celebrate the double happy occasion. Relatives and friends vied to flatter him and wanted to give Tian a birthday plaque, so they asked Qin Jin'ou to inscribe it.
Qin Jin'ou had always despised Tian's character, so he immediately wrote four large characters: 'De Bi Shuo Rong'. When the lacquerer made the plaque, Qin Jin'ou instructed that the 'si' in 'De', the 'bai' in 'Bi', the 'shi' beside 'Shuo', and the 'gu' below 'Rong' be painted with colored gold, while the other strokes be painted with flat gold. When Tian saw the plaque, he thought Qin Jin'ou was praising his high morality and plump appearance, and was very pleased. But after the plaque had hung for half a year, the flat gold faded, while the colored gold strokes were bright and dazzling, and the characters 'four hundred shi of grain' stood out especially. Only then did Tian realize that Qin Jin'ou had intentionally exposed his scandal of donating four hundred shi of grain to buy an official rank.
Seven Liang of Lacquer
The owner of the Cormorant Bay ferry, relying on being the only operator on that route, usually made things difficult for passengers and arbitrarily demanded exorbitant prices. People cursed the place behind his back as the 'King of Hell's Ferry.' One day, Qin Jin'ou carried seven liang of lacquer in a small jar and took the boat, saying he was going to town to exchange it for a little money for oil and salt, and that he had no boat fare on him. The boat owner said that if he had no cash, he would take the seven liang of lacquer in place of the fare. Qin Jin'ou put on a helpless look and said, 'All right.'
After entering the town, Qin Jin'ou ran to the county office and sued the boat owner, saying only that the boat owner had robbed him of eight liang of silver.
The county magistrate summoned the boat owner to the county office. The boat owner cried out that he was wronged, saying there was no eight liang of silver, only seven liang of lacquer. The magistrate slammed the gavel and said loudly: 'Since you say seven liang seven, and scales are somewhat irregular (not standard), just return him seven liang of silver.'
The Quilt Lawsuit
The wife of a certain inn was eloquent and sharp-tongued, and often meanly extorted passing merchants; even when she was in the wrong, she could still win a lawsuit. The villagers hated her and cursed the place she ran as a black shop. One evening, Qin Jin'ou came to the inn to stay the night, and early the next morning he picked up the quilt and started to leave with it. The innkeeper's wife asked: 'Why are you carrying off my shop's quilt?' Qin Jin'ou said: 'The quilt is mine, so of course I'm carrying it away!' The two argued without either giving way, so they had to bring the case to the county office. The magistrate asked about the facts and said: 'This case is easy to decide. Please each tell me what marks and features your own quilt has.' The innkeeper's wife described the pattern inside the quilt, its length and width, and the weight of the cotton wadding. Qin Jin'ou said: 'The cloth of my quilt, its length, width, and weight are the same as the innkeeper's wife's, except that in each of the four corners there are four coins with holes tied in.' The magistrate pinched with his fingers, and indeed in each corner there were four copper coins tied in. The innkeeper's wife was dumbfounded. The magistrate ruled that she had falsely accused a good man and extorted a guest's quilt, and had her given twenty strokes of the plank. Limping out of the yamen with her sore bottom, before she had gone far, Qin Jin'ou caught up and said: 'Innkeeper's wife, how could this quilt be mine? I was only joking with you. Now I'll return the quilt to you.' The innkeeper's wife thought that having received twenty strokes, as long as she got the quilt back it would still count as recovering a little, so she angrily snatched the quilt and started off. Qin Jin'ou then ran back to the yamen and shouted: 'Your Honor, terrible! The quilt you awarded me has been snatched away again by that wicked woman, and she even cursed Your Honor as muddle-headed and corrupt!' Hearing this, the magistrate flew into a rage and had the innkeeper's wife dragged back, scolding: 'Bold, cunning commoner, you dare repeatedly fight over a good citizen's quilt and overturn this official's ruling! Drag her down and give her another forty strokes of the plank!' This beating left the innkeeper's wife bruised and bleeding, crying out that she had been wronged, and in the end the quilt still went to Qin Jin'ou.
On the road, Qin Jin'ou caught up with the innkeeper's wife again and said with a grin: 'The quilt really is yours. I only tied sixteen coins with holes into it last night. Here, I'll return it to you.' Stroking her injured bottom, the innkeeper's wife said furiously: 'Even if it is mine, I don't want it anymore.' After staggering a few steps, she turned back and asked viciously: 'You scoundrel, I have no grudge against you, so why did you harm me?' Qin Jin'ou said sternly: 'You should ask yourself: just how many lodgers have you cheated?' 'You beheaded wretch, I don't even know you, and you dare talk nonsense!' 'You don't know me? My surname is Qin, and my name is Jin'ou!' Having said that, Qin Jin'ou dropped the quilt and strode off. When the innkeeper's wife heard it was Qin Jin'ou, she gave an 'Oh no' and collapsed onto the cotton quilt.
The Poem Inscribed on a Fan
The rich man's son Tian Bao went to the market and bought an ox-bone fan. He swaggered home fanning himself and humming and singing all the way, and when he saw poor people working by the roadside, he said loudly: 'These fools don't know what heat is!' Qin Jin'ou happened to be passing by. When Tian Bao saw Qin Jin'ou, he said gleefully: 'Mr. Qin, today I bought an ox-bone fan. It's my treat; would you inscribe a poem on the fan for me?' Mr. Qin nodded: 'All right.'
After being treated to a meal of wine and food, Qin Jin'ou took up his brush and wrote on the fan:
The fan fans cool breeze, the cockscomb flower is fragrant.
The banana does not bear seed, the top of the head is a zhuangyuan.
Tian Bao took back the fan and was delighted beyond measure, and he even proudly showed it off to a learned man. As soon as that man looked at the inscribed poem, he could not help but burst out laughing with a 'pfft,' and said: 'The poem Mr. Qin wrote, read line by line, has nothing wrong with it, but if you take the first character of each line, it becomes "fan cockscomb head"!'
The Birthday Couplet
A certain rich man turned sixty and asked Qin Jin'ou to write a birthday couplet. Qin Jin'ou sat down at the table and wrote the five characters 'Shi Weng Bu Shi Ren' (The old man is not a human), then put down his brush and said he had to go poop. The sons and grandsons were furious and wanted to beat Qin Jin'ou, but the rich man stopped them, saying, 'Today is my birthday, I won't allow you to fight with outsiders. Whether the birthday couplet is good or not, wait until he finishes writing.' When Qin Jin'ou returned from 'pooping', he picked up his brush again and added seven characters after those five: 'Tian Gong Shou Lao Xia Fan Chen' (Heavenly Lord of Longevity descends to the mortal world). The sons and grandsons were delighted. Then it was time to write the second line. Qin Jin'ou wrote the five characters 'Er Sun Dou Shi Zei' (Sons and grandsons are all thieves), then put down his brush again, took out his pipe and smoked for a while. The sons and grandsons were so angry that they rolled up their sleeves and raised their elbows, but the rich man stopped them again. After Qin Jin'ou had satisfied his smoking craving, he picked up his brush and added seven characters after those five: 'Tou Lai Pan Tao Jing Yan Qin' (Steal peaches of immortality to honor the strict parent). Read together, the whole birthday couplet is:
The old gentleman is not a man; the heavenly lord of longevity has descended to the mortal dust;
The sons and grandsons are all thieves; they stole peaches of immortality to honor their revered parent.
The sons, grandsons, and guests all praised Qin Jin'ou's birthday couplet as well written.
Matching Couplets
There was a schoolteacher who from childhood had read the Four Books and Five Classics and was thoroughly versed in poetry, lyrics, songs, and rhapsodies. He was best at matching couplets, and he proclaimed that 'there is no rival under heaven.'
One day it rained heavily. As dusk fell, Qin Jin'ou walked to the door of that schoolteacher. The teacher was eccentric and had shut the main gate, so Qin Jin'ou could not enter. Offhand he recited: "Rain blocks the traveler—who is the traveler's host?" Hearing this from inside the gate, the teacher recognized it as the first line of a couplet, so he pulled open the door and also offhand recited: "Heaven detains the guest—then let the guest's home be here." A servant brought tea, and the teacher said: "Fragrant tea I offer the honored guest." Qin Jin'ou replied: "Fine wine awaits the lofty friend." The teacher ordered lamps lit and a banquet set, and invited Qin Jin'ou to drink. When a candle was nearly burned out, the teacher said: "By night the dying candle nears its end—is it not a joy?" Qin Jin'ou answered: "The fine wine in the pot is dry again—this alone I grieve." The teacher ordered more wine and dishes. When they were half drunk, the teacher said: "Above, the watch-drum, ding-ding-dang-dang, third watch, third point." Qin Jin'ou replied: "At the feast we drink by night, you and I, one cup each." Qin Jin'ou kept drinking heavily, until the teacher flared up and said: "Such a dreadful guest—go, go, go, tonight you go." Qin Jin'ou answered: "This worthy host—come, come, come, tomorrow I'll come again." The teacher knew he had met his match, dropped his airs, and asked: "Hey, may I ask your honorable name?" Qin Jin'ou laughed: "Qin Jin'ou." The teacher was greatly startled and quickly waved his hand, ordering: "More wine, more dishes—I must drink a few more cups with Mr. Qin!"
Thinking of the two Qiaos, sleeping on one pillow
One day, Qin Jin'ou invited several xiucai and two prostitutes to take a boat from the South Gate wharf for a night cruise. They ordered a few dishes and drank for pleasure. After three cups of wine, Qin Jin'ou said: "The moon is fine tonight; let us several chant poems and match couplets, sharing the cost together." One of the xiucai said: "You go first." Qin Jin'ou said: "I'll chant, you set the topic." The xiucai said: "Compose a poem using one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, starting from one and ending on ten." Qin Jin'ou glanced at the prostitutes seated to his left and right, and on a sudden inspiration chanted: "First is Great Qiao, second Little Qiao, three-inch golden lotuses, four-inch waist; bought five, six, seven colors of powder, made up to be eight, nine, ten parts charming." The xiucai said again: "Now reverse it, and compose a poem from ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one." Qin Jin'ou sipped his wine and chanted: "The nineteenth moon is eight parts round, seven xiucai, six are poor; at the fifth watch, fourth point, third drum, I think of the two Qiaos, sleeping on one pillow."
[Appendix] About Qin Jin'ou
Qin Jin'ou (also called by the folk Qin Ji'ou, Qin Qing'ou), generational name Zuogong, courtesy name Jin'ou, Tujia ethnicity, a native of Dagutai Village, Xixiping Town, present-day Zhangjiajie City, later moved back to his old home in Guanmenyan Township. Born about the Jiaqing reign of the Qing dynasty (1800), died in the Tongzhi reign (1870). According to the "Qin Clan Continuation Genealogy" (1914, the third year of the Republic, jia-yin year), Qin Jin'ou "was naturally clever and quick beyond others, giving form to things in his writing, with a reputation for composing in eight hand-folds or seven paces (note: in ancient times Cao Zhi could compose a poem in seven paces; Wen Tingyun could compose a ci after folding his hands eight times), and ended his career as a gongsheng; the scholarly world regretted it."
Qin Jin'ou was by nature humorous and witty, unrestrained, quick in thought, and able to compose on the spot. He often used poems and couplets or played "sparrow treasure" (a dialect term for using humorous means to trick others) to satirize and attack corrupt officials, rich tyrants, and evil squires, and to lash the wickedness of the world. This was a kind of venting for a man whose talents went unrecognized and who was cynical and defiant. Ordinarily he would "snatch the winning edge" with common folk (a dialect term for joking with humorous and biting words to get the better of the other side). The brilliance of his wit was enough to make people split their sides laughing; in terms of learning, he might even be a notch above the world-famous Afanti who rides a donkey.
The stories of Qin Jin'ou spread extremely widely. His name was known to almost every household in the two counties and two districts of Zhangjiajie City and in Yuanling, Yongshun, Sangzhi, Taoyuan, and other counties. Many stories even became enduring xiehouyu, making him worthy of the title of a master of Tujia humor and wit.