Flowers as Matchmaker
"Flowers as Matchmaker" is not a play, not an anecdote, nor a script—it is a living love epic of the Tujia people of Zhangjiajie. As the saying goes: one family raises a daughter, a hundred families seek her hand. In the old society, sending a matchmaker to propose was almost a village rule. But in some deep-mountain Tujia villages of present-day Yongding District, the custom of using flowers as matchmaker still prevails. If a young man takes a fancy to a girl...
This article has been compiled from historical materials on 'Zhangjiajie Tour Guide Network' (33519.com · Specialty Foods / Cuisine / Customs section). Prices, business hours, administrative divisions, and statistical data mentioned in the text may already be outdated. Before traveling, please refer to the latest announcements from merchants, scenic areas, and local competent authorities; the parts involving folk legends and folk customs are local historical and cultural anecdotes, provided for cultural reference.
Flowers as Matchmaker
"Flowers as Matchmaker" is not a play, nor a historical anecdote, nor a theatrical script, but a living epic of love of the Tujia people in Zhangjiajie. As the saying goes: one family raises a daughter, a hundred families seek her hand. In the old society, engaging a matchmaker to propose marriage was almost a folk convention and village rule. Yet in some deep-mountain Tujia stockades of present-day Yongding District, the custom of using flowers as matchmaker has been passed down.
If a young man of one family takes a fancy to a girl of another, he need not spend money to hire a matchmaker to arrange it; instead, he picks a brilliant wildflower from the high mountains and quietly places it on the windowsill of the girl's boudoir. The next day, the young man comes to inquire for news. Generally speaking, the girl will certainly not answer right away. The young man knows this is a test of him, so he goes to place flowers again. The rule is: on the second day place three flowers, on the third day five, increasing in sequence, always keeping an odd number, such as seven, nine, eleven... After several consecutive placements, the girl will give some sign. If the young man finds the flowers reduced to a decreasing odd number, such as eleven becoming nine, or nine becoming seven, this is the signal that the girl refuses. If they are paired into an even number, nine becoming ten, eleven becoming twelve, it means the girl has agreed. After the girl accepts the courtship, she reveals the truth to her parents, and only with the parents' consent is there hope for the match. But whether or not the woman is willing, another ritual must be performed: warmly receiving the "gifts" (presents) brought by the man's parents, elder brother and sister-in-law, or a specially dispatched "envoy," generally in odd numbers, such as one bottle of wine, one bag of sugar, one piece of "floating-knife meat" (cured meat sliced as thin as a sheet of paper). The woman's family then entertains the guests with abundant wine and meat. At the table they speak only of farming and mulberry, never a word about the daughter's marriage. When the "envoy" leaves, the woman's parents return "gifts," tightly wrapped in a cloth bundle. The impatient "envoy," as soon as he reaches a secluded spot, opens the bundle; if he finds the "gifts" are in even numbers, it means agreement; otherwise it is a refusal. In the stockades there have indeed been marriage tragedies caused by parents going against their daughter's wishes, but such matters are generally uncommon in Tujia stockades. Sometimes two or three young men may simultaneously
court one girl. A clever girl will know how to make her choice among them. And the young men will not, over this, become jealous and do unpleasant things.
It is unknown from what year or month this "flowers as matchmaker" custom of the Tujia stockades originated. According to the Tujia people, it is because the Tujia ancestors had no culture, could not write love letters, and did not like meddlesome matchmakers; so the young men and girls, following the custom of "good things come in pairs," ingeniously created the use of flowers in place of a matchmaker, and for thousands of years it has been passed down unchanged. They place their beautiful hopes on fresh flowers, which also symbolize their love—pure, sweet, and beautiful as mountain flowers.